I’m so tired of being afraid…

I’m tired of being ruled by fear. The fear of failing. The fear of dying. The fear of not having enough money. The fear I won’t be able to pay next month’s rent. The fear of what happens next with the world in chaos all around me. The fear I’ll always be fat. The fear that I’ll always be alone. The fear of…EVERYTHING.

We live in a world filled by fear. Fear stimulated by ignorance, by an overwhelming belief that we are helpless. We feel immobile and impotent, unable to chance anything in our lives. We feel trapped. We are a nation of traumatized children scared we will never escape an abusive parent. Our fear is fed by the media and by our community online that thrives on sensationalism. Instead of sending hope and encouragement we spread more fear. And panic like a disease runs through us, showing the next generation there is no hope, no chance for escape or redemption.

I’m so tired of being afraid. I was raised fearing the Rapture, the end of days and the return of God. I was raised fearing everything because it might have been a sin. I made me afraid of my own sexuality, of other cultures and religions. My mom was a woman who lived in fear and she passed that on to us. She cloistered us close and taught us to fear the outside world, a world filled with sin and scary people. People who would mock and judge or worse lead me into sin and finally into Hell.

I’m so tired of being afraid.

It surrounds me on all sides, a gray and looming monster who whispers lies so I cannot see the truth, I can’t see past the dark to how I can move forward, to how I am SAFE right now.

The world is polluted, but we can fix it if we try. Maybe not completely, but enough for it to heal itself with time and love. There are diseases, poverty, war…but we can stop those too. If we stop listening to the lies of fear, if we pull together and take one tiny step at a time, make one positive change each day, we can chance the world. We can improve our lives. We can defeat the monster that is fear.

We can stop fear.

I’m so tired of being afraid.

So I’m going to stop feeding the monster. I’m going to stop being afraid.