The brochures are piled up,

So high the tower begins to sway

So much to choose from

So much to see

How can I decide?

My visit here may be limited

My schedule not as open as I please

This trip is work related

But some of the time will just be for me

Should I go to Rome?

See the acropolis?

The pyramids at Giza?

Stonehenge, the Grand Canyon

Niagara Falls or Belize?

Will I have time to visit more?

Between Crop circles and probing

Surely I can see at least three.

Give me strength Lord, this I pray

Give me strength to make it through the day

I have doubts Lord, yes I do

I have doubts I’ll make it through

Give me strength Lord, this I pray

I’m not sure I’ll last the day

I’ve gone so far, Lord, so far away

I need my strength Lord, to make my way

Give me strength Lord, this I pray

I need strength Lord, to make it through the day.

Give me strength Lord, this I pray

There is a deep black void inside of me
All I want is to escape and be free
Like tar it clings and pulls me down
Drawing me deep to make me drown
The black is alive and spreading from my core
Up my arms consuming ever more
Like a poison in my veins
It sucks away life to leave it’s stain
The fight is going out of me
Making me want to just drift in this dark sea
Let the ink come over my head
Never wake again because I am dead

Rise again from an unmarked grave

Rising up through dirt and root

Leaf and grass

Rising up to face the night

To face the moon as she rides high

Lift my face to the moon

Scent the night

Scent the wind

My evening meal is not at hand

But I can smell her near me

Her scent is ripe and warm

With the rush of life

throbbing through her veins

Like each night before

I move away from my resting place

Moving through shadow and shade

One with the night

Ruler of the dark

I seek her out

Press my teeth

Through her flesh

Find the nectar that

Is her life

I break my fast tonight

As I have done

Countless nights before

One side faces the sun

Embraces the light

Shows the world all it is

But where the light hits

Shadows form

Creep out, reach out

Tinging the light with dark

Slithering in to corrupt the perfect gold

He shows the world the light

Ignores the darkness there

That walks just one step behind

Waiting to embrace him

Pull him back to hide

Pull him down and show the world

He is dark and wretched inside

It whispers in like something gray

Somehow alive in the absence of the light

It runs across your skin

Reminding you

That you are at its mercy

No longer safe

It can surround you like an embrace

And if you aren’t careful

It can find its way inside

To pollute, to distort, to whither

Inside of your heart

It will sneak inside, slither in

Like mist and smoke, curling down

And inside to your heart

Gently at first, until it begins

To squeeze

Tighter and tighter until it penetrates

Penetrates everything until nothing remains

But the deep cold of darkness.

Is it me?

I think it’s me

I’m the one

The problem

The one

I’m mixed up

Disturbed

Distorted

Somehow…wrong

It’s me

Isn’t it?

How else can I explain

The thoughts and actions

Of myself

If not to say

That something went wrong

In the making of me?

Some wires got crossed

The mixture’s off

Someone messed up

Mixed me up

Made me

Wrong.

She says to go ahead and live my life
To not obsess over what may be
But does she know how it feels
To look up and see the sword of Damocles
Poised ever ready over my head
Mocking my every attempt to smile
To try and build the life I desire
Does she not see that if I work
Strive and push to fulfill
My every dream and desire
How tragic and debased I will be
When the worst comes crashing in
And steals my hope and dreams from me
Doesn’t she know my whole life has been
A prison sentence with the shiny dream
Of a future yet to be?
My only reason for breathing and being?
Doesn’t she see how this takes
Even that from me?
Just live your life and be good
But I have always been good
And this is where it has gotten me

Spawned and spewed in infancy

From birth to now, in mock decency

Brought forth into this world

In a room filled with song and hymn

To a family of religious conformity

False gods called the One

Raised to blend, behave and be

Meek and mild and never wild

I followed slow and patiently

Made myself what they should see

Never released the pent emotions

Save through poem and prose

And dark night dreams

Grew to hate the lie

They made me be

Rebelled at last

Thank god I am free

Follow now the god in me

For all I am Blessed be

Inside is there screaming?

No, just a long and listless yawn

Close my eyes, let things fade

The world’s too bright

My soul just wants to sleep

Let the softening edge of dreaming take over

Life is too hard edged and sharp

Scraping me raw

Life I know is slipping away

But I lack the strength to even try

I should fight against the gray

But instead I let myself sink

Down I go

Back to sleep

Hoping someday I will wake

to a world I want to face